Action

I have wanted to write the past couple of weeks... the last couple weekends I have had things I needed to do. Action was required.

I'm going to be honest and say, the action of what I needed to do was not exactly exciting. It required driving. It required talking about the past. It required emotional energy that is not always easy to give. It has required giving of myself again and attempting to move forward, and yet... wondering if I really did or not.

Sometimes things just have to be done. I've done a lot of processing since my return to the US. I've done a lot of healing. I know I still have more to do. Baby steps in all areas and then maybe a leap of action to move forward again.

As I pray, God places things on my heart that I need to do. Sometimes it takes all my energy to make it happen. That is when I say, Three times I begged the Lord to take this thing away from me; but he told me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is brought to perfection in weakness.” Therefore, I am very happy to boast about my weaknesses, in order that the Messiah’s power will rest upon me. Yes, I am well pleased with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties endured on behalf of the Messiah; for it is when I am weak that I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 CJB

I definitely struggle with things. I struggle with, is it me being me, or am I making excuses? Are my boundaries too rigid? Because I have heard God's voice in the past, and felt like things got messed up, did I really hear Him? So, how do I really know if what I am hearing is Him? My weaknesses come out... Then I question am I really trusting God in these situations or trying to fix it myself?

My best friend and I are chatting via text this morning and laughing because we haven't had enough coffee for our "deep thoughts."

So, in the middle of these scattered thoughts, when I am struggling to be "content" in my circumstances, what action do I need to take? When I am struggling to know that His power is still working in the middle of my weaknesses, what do I need to do? This Shabbat prayer comes to my mind:

PRAY AS IF everything depended on God.

Act as if everything depended on you.

Pg 165

Mishkan T'Filah A Reform Siddur

Today, that is what I need to do. I need to PRAY and depend on Him. But, as needed I need to "act" also. Trusting that in my weakness He is strong and He is still leading and guiding. In the middle of the storm and waves, knowing that HE is still with me. He will help me with the action.

Praying you can do the same...

Shabbat Shalom,

Rose